Okay...

This is MY opinion, MY observation: FASD (fetal alcohol spectrum disorder) is at the level of public awareness as AUTISM was about 12 or 15 years ago.  Science knows it is REAL. And Science is still trying to figure FASD out.

It is my strong belief that FASD idoes NOT have to be a "sentence of more suffering up ahead". True, some folks sadly are not going to be able to function independantly in our sociaty at this time. But many MANY who may belive they are lost CAN be found. Support. Heart. Compassion. Guts.  Thinking from Below the Neck, Above the Waist.  

The trick is to support them to FIND THEMSELVES. We do NOT need more victims in this world. We need more people who choose to do the hard work and rise to their full Awesome Potential!

I'm going to do my best (while also looking after my own rather tuckered-out arse) to help them do that.

At 56 years old I was handed my FASD diagnosis. And some might think that this might have been bad news for me, but it was totally a blessed (though surprising) gift. 

I realized I wasn't BROKEN. I was BUILT DIFFERENTLY.  For those of you who haven't been in these waters this might seem rather a strange attitude. But for me, after spending tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours on "trying to fix myself" this was indeed welcome news.

Not broken. Built differently.

I could finally go back to my Alignment, and Integration work. And move towards what I knew would be up ahead if I did indeed do this work: Celebration.  

Well, Alignment was real f'ing easy:  I had a physical and mental disability. The truth is that parts of my brain and nervous system (and as I would find out, parts of my body) would NEVER "run as expected". I could GIVE UP trying to tweak most of my psychological issues. It wasn't a software issue!  It was a HARDWARE issue!  The geek in me could totally embrase this truth and work with it.

Integrating it?  Well, that is usually a bit more work than Alignment. It takes actual WORK. For me, choosing to give up on "looking normal" to people, my friends, my family - while still being committed to finding an authentic bridge that allows me to do so without alienating every "normal" friend or family member I have. I don't like to be alone in this world ;) (It's currently a pretty scary world). It's been an interesting few years since diagnosis. I'm not good at this yet. Being myself. And being committed to finding that "social bridge" for my expression of myself. Integration can take a while. I'll keep y'all posted. ;)

With Mom & Dad 2015

Now you might say "Geez ReinMan, what the heck you got to Celebrate?!".
Okay, for one thing... dramatic as it might sound, I did not off myself.

Even when this planet seemed like the most hostile thing in Existance, I kept hold of that little spark of Hope. 
I'm still here. So... there's THAT to toot my horn about. I also Celebrate the fact that all my years of personal growth work and training and bumps n' bruises to psyche has left me with some good SH*T to share with my homies!!  I feel very strongly that this new phase of my life, this advocay for FASD and other mental health issues, is going to be so f*cking interesting. And, I feel rather strongly, of value to a few folks out there who are doing THEIR best to keep it together but need a bit of a pep-talk from some 60 year old dude who (mostly succesfully) navigates the FASD spectrum every single day. :)

I took me a very divergent (and 2+ years long) route to find my way to my own FASD diagnosis. My BIO talks a bit about that trip.  

Here's the hard truth, for me: I almost didn't make it. 

Before my diagnosis in 2016, I had pretty much given up on life. A life time of very hard work on my part and the part of my (I'm sure still confused) therapists had left me only feeling about 75% complete with who I was. It was getting pretty rough. I didn't uderstand how I could teach and support people in personal growth work, while the same work just didn't work for my own growth.

Once we know where we are, we can make more effective plans to go somewhere. More "effective" translates into hopefully less bumps and grinds. And if one does encounter some opposition along the way one is more motivated to sort it out in the most straight-forward manner possible, as one is clear on where one wishes to get to.

 
Another important part of the Integration process is accepting what we’ve uncovered in the Alignment process that IS ours and can NOT be discarded.

Many of us spend a good part of our lives pretending we do not live with, for example, a Big Gray Elephant in our bathroom. (or it might be a hyperactive squirrel living in our attic. As metaphors go, I do hope you get the gist of this ;)  If something is OURS, we need to accept it and find a way to be okay with it.  Usually, when we do this, we find that it is there to give us an edge-up on our Lives and NOT hamper us as we had previously feared.