• I'm Okay. But I'm Not Okay. And I'm OKAY with that.

    [from FaceBook post, Oct. 10, 2019]


    Good morning my dear ReinPeeps! Here's another somewhat long post - but for me it's an important one. If you normally read my stuff on here, I hope you read through this one 😌

    So, if I'm gonna do any self-harm, you gotta know, that I personally AM NOT gonna talk about it on social media. 🀨
    Now, don't get me wrong. I know LOTS of people tend to send/tweet/post out "signals" of how crappy their life is and their sometimes not-so-subtle attempts to build their victimhood stance and solicit "you poor thing" responses from their followers. So be it. That is their right to do so. I do hope they find whatever support they need to heal.
    I just want my peeps to understand, I don't and won't do that. 😌

    The reason I bring this up is that pretty much every time I share a (to me πŸ˜‰) rather deep post here, there is always one or two folks that respond with something approaching pity or "You're not thinking of doing anything CRAZY are you?" type energy. I'm not looking for that. And, again, they have every right to respond in the manner they are called to respond. (Usually I leave their posts in place - though some I delete and then PM them to let them know I'm good to go.)

    To be clear: this is a very small percentage of my "followers/readers".

    What I'm blown away by is the sooooo many others that seem to resonate or even learn something about themselves through reading one of my posts. Their responses are deep, thoughtful, interactive - and more often than I ever thought could happen I'm told "it mattered" that I spoke my truth and what I've learned about Life over my last 60 years of journeying here. πŸ˜‡

    I'm blessed with some great friends, some great support, (and also blessed with an attitude towards personal therapy that borders on someone else's enjoyment of playing street hockey which means I'm usually enthusiastically working with professionals as I navigate and learn about myself and others.) and I'm NOT a person who believes advocates for self-harm as a coping tool. Ever.

    Does this mean that I don't have days/weeks (in the past MONTHS) where I'm FEELING the same level of crap that those that do practice self-harm and victimhood strategies experience?


    But I made a decision decades ago that self-harm... intentional self-harm... is not MY way. 😌✌🏼

    (My mind finds LOTS of ways to keep hurting me WITHOUT my conscious help! πŸ™„ This is why I'm such a believer in developing my Heart and practicing good Emotional Hygiene - some day I'll tell you about brushing with my truth brush 😁 ).

    So keep reading, if you are drawn to do so, my posts knowing that you don't need to look for "hidden messages" and passive-aggressive notes calling out for help hidden in my many MANY words! πŸ˜‡

    And if you get even one SMALL thought that improves your relationship with yourself, or someone you care about... then my tired fingers are such a tiny price to pay for that!!

    Namaste Y'All! 😌

  • About the ShitStorm

    [from FaceBook post, Oct 09, 2019]


    I realized something a few days ago when a close friend asked me "how are you doing, ReinMan?"
    So... for years, when I'm having a really rough week, and someone close to me asks "how are you doing?" I would feel my anxiety rise up a notch or two.

    Why? I feel stuck, kinda like a bug on a pin, with that question.
    Truth is: a "really rough week" is NOT that rare for me. I've had countless "really rough weeks" in my life. And, after a few decades of self-help books and some rather brilliant therapists, I've learned how to navigate these challenging patches of my life. In fact, it can be a REALLY crappy day and I'll still find good things in my life, and still be able to be there for other folks.

    So deeper truth is that I'M OKAY. Even in the shitstorm.

    BUT... (and here is where my anxiety tends to get kicked up a gear or two when friends check in on me during these turbulent sections of my life) we have built a world where it's either up or down, left or right, dark or bright. I feel I either tell them "I'm really struggling right now" or I give the old "I'm okay" response that most of us would default to. Either of these responses are not accurate.
    I'm actually feeling terrible AND feeling okay at the SAME TIME. That is my personal reality. (and, full disclosure, with me the vibe I can give off at times like this tends to NOT feel that "okay" so my sharper friends pick up on that if I tell them I'm all right at the moment and then I get the "I don't think you're telling me the truth, dude" stare).

    HERE IS THE THING I REALIZED the other day: Our minds are NOT built to handle a paradox. Our minds want yes/no, on/off facts. Anything else causes us discomfort, mentally.

    Our HEARTS, though (some might say our "souls", but I'll stick with "heart" for now) have NO PROBLEM with a paradox. When I talk to someone who allows their heart to be part of their "listening apparatus" they can hold BOTH sides of that truth, Okay/Not-Okay. And when this kind of listening happens in my life, I RELAX. I feel truly HEARD. I'm not alone in the craziness of my human experience.

    That day, my friend got it. (They have a HUGE heart and are not afraid to let it interfere with their brain's limited ability to parse reality.)

    And I felt seen and somewhat less alone in my own sometimes rather intense "heart n head n body" world.

    So: do you let your heart be part of your listening apparatus? I don't mean ignore your mind, but perhaps your mind could use a second opinion?

    Just a thought. From my heart to yours. ❀️✌🏼 - ReinMan

  • A Day Learning About How I Have (and will continue to) Tick


    [from FaceBook post Sept. 11/12th, 2019]

    Wow. What a day! According to local feedback I done did my job well n' good. Happy am I for that!!

    R.J. Formanek & Jeff Noble - what a blast it was to work with you two dudes. These men CARE about what's happening in the FASD world... Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is NOT a joke... and yet humour can so help us all deal and learn about this disorder... Thanks RJ & Jeff for taking me under your (broken) wings! πŸ™πŸΌ
    Your talents and your spirits are so varied and so strong. It was an honour to work and hang with you over the last few days.

    Debbie Reynolds Michaud, Bill Michaud, Rhonda Konrad, Sherry Wills Baum - thanks for being our wheels, our secretaries, and our support team! You folk were truly awesome and YOUR spirit and passion for the work of getting FASD awareness into the world was so very inspiring.

    And, my GOSH, there are so many others - right down to the caregivers and parents and social workers and therapists and and and that attended our seminar!! You people really CARE! And that has given ME more hope in my life on a number of levels. ❀️x100

    Now, if you'll forgive me, I'm gonna go lie down for a day or two.πŸ€ͺ Flying from Sioux Lookout back to Kingston, you know how it goes: " Boy, are my wings tired!!"
    (...not broken, but VERY tired 😊)

    Namaste, Y'all!! 😌

  • Below the Neck, Above the Waist: How To Have A Meaningful Life (video)

    [from FaceBook post, Sept 05, 2019]


    For our September 9th FASD AWARENESS breakfast here in Kingston, I was requested to whip together a 12 minutes video for my Kingston FASD peeps, and here it is.

    (you might have seen it elsewhere on this website... though, in my humble opinion, it bares repeating ;)

    I'm thinking that this particular philosophy might apply to pretty much anyone, so I thought I'd share!
    Namaste Y'All! πŸ˜ŒπŸ™πŸΌ

    PS: this video is the TWELVE minute one ~ there's a 2 or 3 minute trailer of this floating around out there somewhere, but I hope you have time to take a peak at this full version!


  • Road Trip To Awakening The Next Phase

    [from FaceBook Sept 08, 2019]


    My journey has started.

    Long story short: I'm on my way, via a 3-plane "puddle-jumper" journey, to Sioux Lookout. (again, please consult The Google if you are pondering where the Lookout might be in the great and very large province of Ontario).

    I'm going to my first financed "speaking gig". Exciting? You betcha!!

    I'll be attending a two-day seminar on FASD. Day Two I'll be talking about my experience as an adult who got his diagnosis rather late in life (better late than never, as some wise person once said). Then helping run an open discussion group with my new amigo R.J. Formanek... we're both hoping to answer some questions from "inside" the spectrum that perhaps some of the younger folks might have trouble telling their care-givers and parents and guardians.

    I'm going to see if I can keep you, my ever appreciated Peeps, updated on my journey here. I'll attempt to keep it interesting (but not TOO interesting, as I've got 6 flights in the next 3 days!!

    ;) )
    Ciao for now! 😎